Coombe Abbey

Yes. Good old Coombe Abbey country park, a nice walk with NO golf club, and a good place to feed the ducks and stuff. I actually have a duck call; I'll put a picture of it in so you can see what it looks like. I bought it from a gun shop because I was fed up of the children going there with their parents and stealing all the ducks, while I would have about 20 vicious geese and swans attacking me for my bread. You see, the ducks at Coombe are particularly mean. I don't know why this is, but, normally a mallard in no match for a swan or a goose, but at coombe... a couple of angry quacks and the big birds are cowering at the other end of the pond. Maybe there's a scientist from Coventry who goes there and injects them with 'Duck Tough'? Or 'Hard Duck'? Who knows? Scientists are mand anyway, so...

But. I bought this duck call, which I blow when being torn to bits by the swans and geese, and the ducks all come, with speed, to me. I can olittel it you see, and quack quack quackety quackety quack, means, I have Warburton's! The ducks arrive, the swans and geese leave in fear, and all the kids start crying... I'm chilled.

They also have medieval banquets at Coombe, and I used to work there. I had 2 unpaid jobs, one of them self employed on a profit share with Coombe; Banquet Photographer, which looked ridiculous in my dress and tights, and, court guitarist. The food was spare ribs, and the drink was mead. I would feast on the ribs in the back room, and drink quite a bit of the mead. fabulous. I'm putting in the only picture of me in my getup with my guitar (please retain decorum and try not to look up my skirt).

I also like walking round the grounds. They have a tame Parrsant! A Parssant is a cross between a parrot and a pheasant (it's that bloody scientist again). You can sit in the wooden hide, and look out the slit and sometimes see the Parssant in the garden bit, feeding. But most of the time, youre sat there on the wooden bench, anticipating it appearing, when suddenly, next to you, a voice says 'You looking for me?'...and you just spent £250.00 at Beryl Houghton's photography shop on some real good binoculars.